“If I had a rocket launcher…Some son of a bitch would die.” – Bruce Cockburn, If I Had A Rocket Launcher

I like to think I am reasonable person. I try and give people the benefit of the doubt. I try and see the good in people. I’d like to think that people are not stupid. Really. And yet, people succeed is proving to me over and over that they do not deserve the benefit of the doubt I offer them. (Note: I am generalizing here. If you don’t know what that means you should Google it before continuing.) In fact, most people could benefit from a one way trip down a flight of stairs after they have been set on fire. (The origin of the the whole fire stairs thing can be found in a song call Inner Voice by Devo Spice.) This week has has been a particularly good example of this.

My week’s woes started with an email from our friends at the Parsec Awards. Now other than the “BCC email fail” associated with Parsec Awards announcement, I have nothing more against the Parsec Awards than I do against most awards. And my issue with most awards, especially those on the Internet, is that they are nothing more than popularity contest won by those who have the largest audiences, or they are mutual admiration societies. What really pisses me off about the Parsec Awards is that for next month or two all the podcasts I listen to, most of the mailing lists I am on, and a large number of people I follow on twitter will spend there time begging for votes rather than doing something useful, like producing good content. To begin with, I hate it when podcasters (and bloggers) beg me to do stuff for them. If I want to give you money, I will. If I think your show deserves my time to review it at iTunes, I will review it. I will not vote for you at Podcast Alley, for the Parsec Awards, or for you as a Presidential candidate. Asking/begging me will not change that. I also will not ask you to do any of those things for me, and I don’t expect you to vote for me for anything. If you choose to because you thing my content deserves it, great. But I have no expectations that you will do anything to promote my content or help in win awards.

I believe that awards should be given to those who have truly excelled at something not to those who can market or beg better than anyone else. And largest audience is not necessary a good measure of quality. And yes, I have won two awards in my life. And to be honest, I really didn’t deserve either of them. But I digress.

Next, this week has been high on the “high school drama” that permeates my job. Why is it that rather than acting like adults and trying to help solves problems and work together we all go off and do our own thing until something goes wrong and then we all point our fingers at each other? Why does it seem that people would rather find a problem and package it up in a nice little gift bag and drop off for someone else to fix rather than fix it themselves or at least help.

I have spent all week fighting fires, only to be blamed when things I have no control over have gone wrong or when I gotten things done in the time I estimated rather than five minutes after the request was made. What part of “three days” don’t you understand. No one remembers (or appreciates) the good stuff you do, they only remember what is screwed.

On top of that, the idiot’s who run my states highway department started road work this week on my primary route to work days earlier than the announced start dates. This increase an already long commute to an hour and a half each way. Which suck even more now that I am trying to get to the gym in the morning, and, suddenly, early morning meeting are all the rage at the Donut Factory. Now, I admit that the road work they are doing needed to get done, but if you are going to announce dates stick to them. The weather has been beautiful all week, yet I have seen random adherence to the dates they announced. Come on people.

And finally, the icing on that shit cake that has been this week so far, Earth Day was this week. Earth Day. The one day out of the year we all pretend to give a crap about pollution and recycling and clean air and clean water. Then the next day we forget all about it, and go back to throwing out burger wrappers out the our car’s window as we drive down the highway. I am surprised Hallmark has not start a line of Earth Day cards so we can fill up land fills with them the day after Earth Day each year. Now, as you can guess I am no environmentalist. I do believe in common sense environmentalism: reusing things, recycling, burying the body’s of my victims in the forest so they can fertilize the plants, peeing on trees, etc. And I do care about pollution and recycling and clean air and clean water. But can’t everyone smell the hypocrisy here.

Earth day also brings all the corporate Earth Day events (or stunts). How many corporation were out trying to make people believe they care about the environment? Some gave out reusable bags, some mugs, some water bottles, and some literature (printed on paper that when right in the garbage cans). All of which have the company logo of who ever gave them out printed on them. This is so they can make you believe they care, and get you will advertise for them. What a bunch Hypocrites.

For the record, I worked for Aveda Corporation in the past. It was the only place I have ever worked that took environmentalism seriously. In fact, that took it so seriously that we would spend more on a process or product to make in environmentally friendly. I didn’t aways agree with there position on the issues, but at least they weren’t hypocrites. I can respect that.

But mostly, I am mad at myself this week. Mad that I haven’t focused on the important things. Mad that I let myself get caught up in all the stupid drama going on around me. And mad because I have not been good about meeting my weekly goals. Yes, this week has sucked. Sucked big time.

Maybe I should just give up and join the clueless, unaccountable masses. Give up on my dreams. Fall into line and make “Dust for The Man”. Watch “must see tv” everynight, and drink myself to death. And expect the Government to take care of me.

Maybe I should set myself on fires and throw myself down a flight of stairs.

Or maybe I should surrender it all to God and live as the creative force for good in the world He made me to be.

In the end, if I had a rocket launcher, I would probably blow myself up.

Thanks,

T