On Being a Wanderer

“Not all who wander are lost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

I have often been accused of being unfocused. And it is true, focus is something I struggle with. (I am sure there are some who would say I suffer from ADD or ADHD, but I’m not sure I agree.) I am a wanderer. An Explorer. I feel much like the Rangers in the works of J.R.R. Tolkien. Living in the wilds. Traveling from place to place. Helping some. Defending some. Fighting evil and/or monsters. And exploring the hidden treasures of the world missed by many on the main path.

Much like the Rangers, I have had some great adventures. I’ve gotten in over my head more than once. And I have experienced more life than many of the people I know who have stayed on the main roads.

In the end, I feel like I am destine for more, but I never quite achieving it.

I’ve never seen this as a weakness, but it has it’s downside. I don’t have a lot of close friends. In fact, I can count my close friends on one hand. And I have rarely excelled at anything. I try something. Do it for a while and move on (usually when the challenge is gone or it gets boring). God’s creation, even in it’s fallen state,has so much to offer it is hard to want to stay focused on one thing for any long period of time.

I have had the chance to do a lot as well:

I was a crew member on a fast attack submarine. I have played almost every pen and paper RPG (role playing game) that came out before 1980. I have read (and listened to) dozens of stories. I have created hundreds of shows on a variety of different topics, and entertained so many people. I preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a church and on the street. Produce and self-publish two albums of music. Write software professional. Help several business make better use of there data via data warehousing and reporting. Help to run scifi/fantasy/horror/anime fandom conventions and clubs. Tried food and beer and wine from all over the world. Run several small project teams. Acted in Audio Drama. Produced Audio Drama. Inspired others to get into podcasting and to write. Met hundreds of interesting and awesome people. Experienced the joy of marriage. Bowled a 212 game. (I’ve tried and tried for a 300, but apparently it is not meant to be.) And so much more.

In the end I have so many ideas and desire. But sometimes I find I keep falling back on what’s easy rather than take on the greater challenge.

As I have gotten older, my desire to wander has waned a bit. I want to focus more. I want to take on the greater challenge. I am still not that interested in taking the main road but the paths I traverse are run a lot more parallel to it now. In fact, if you watch the line of trees off to your left you might catch a glimpse of me in my dark green cloak and awesome beard.

There are things I want to achieve that are a bigger challenges and will require more focus. I want The Adventures of The Snarky Avenger web comic to be a success. I want to sell some short stories and at least one novel. (I have been publish, I have simply not been paid for any my stories or articles.) I want to interview and spread the word about more awesome authors, artists, and other creative people. And I want to entertain and inspire people with new and interesting stories. Everything else is fluff. Fun fluff but fluff none the less.

I would also like to have more close friends. (Maybe enough that I have to use two hands to count them instead of one.) But I doubt I will ever have a lot of them. I am a loner and a hard person to be friends with. I am not interested the false community offered by social networking. I want people in my life who I can be there for, and who will be there for me. People who will tell the me the truth no matter how much I don’t want to hear it. People who truly care about me.

I have goals and ideas. I like trying new things. I view much of what I do and have done as grand experiments. But the time has come to wander less and focus more.

It is time to take on the great challenge.

It is time to put away childish things.

It is time to find that ever elusive thing I am destine for.

It is time to tell more stories.

Personal Heroes: Scott Sigler

I have been meaning to write a series, or at least start writing, a series of posts about my personal heroes. This idea really took root after I had gone to my second Scott Sigler book signing. The one for the release of Ancestor in hard cover. (I should have gone to the bar afterward. I am still kicking myself about that.) But I put it off. Well, here it is, or a least the first post in the series. There will be more. There are a handful of people living, dead, and otherwise that I admire greatly. It is my goal in the this series of articles to talk about each one of them, and what about them inspires me. Since I was inspired to start this series by Scott Sigler, he has the honor of being the first person I write about.

Scott Sigler is a personal hero of mine. He has managed to, thought hard work and perseverance, achieve his dream of being a full-time writer. He did this by giving away his work for free in podcast form as he went, building an audience. And he did this by writing and publishing kick-ass stories.

He is the New York Time’s best selling author of Earth Core, Ancestor, Infected, The Rookie, Nocturnal, Contagious, and The Starter. He is also the author of many short stories, and he collaborated on many stories with other authors for The Crypt. He also does a regular blog/column for AMC on horror, Laughing in the Face of Death. (I’m sure there are other things I am missing as well.)

I admire Scott not only because he writes great stories and has achieved his dream, but because he has a clear focus on what he wants to do and he genuinely likes and cares about his fans.

I am not good with focus, I admit. That has allowed me to do a lot of different stuff (and I enjoyed all those experiences), but it has hindered me from really hitting my big goals. (I don’t consider this a weakness.) I am very impressed with the fact that Scott saw what he wanted to do and focused on it, and he found ways around the obstacles put before him while maintaining his principles.

In the interest in not coming across as a total fan boy. I don’t agree with Scott on everything. I don’t agree with him about spirituality. And I prefer Bourbon to Scotch. (That can be blamed on Brian Keene, who will also appear in this series of articles.)

Scott has earned all of his current success, and the success that will come in the future for him. I am privilege to be an “original” junkie and to have had the opportunity to meet Scott in person and interview him twice for my podcast Snark Infested Waters.

I raise my glass in a toast to Scott Sigler. You are one of my personal heroes. Thank you for all you do, have done, will do, and the inspiration you are.

42

Well folks, I am 42 years old. Yes, just over 30 days ago I reached my “Life, The Universe, and Everything” birthday. (I know, I should have posted this sooner.) And in that 42 years of life I have done a lot of stuff, met a lot of people, and learn a lot about myself. (To be fair, I learned more about myself after I turned 30 than before. I wasn’t as introspective before I reached 30.)

So now I bet you are expecting me to regale you with stories of my adventures here on planet Earth like how I brought about and aborted the Zombie Apocalypse while shopping for shampoo, or how I once set fire to and pushed 100 blood thirsty ninja vampires down a flight of stairs in the secret jungles of the main Amazon.com warehouse, or about the day I realized that you can not buy a main battle tank and 123 bottles of Bourbon with 176,000 counterfeit Canadian Pesos . Those are great stories. Someday I will tell all those and many, many more in my autobiography: The Fool that Pitied Mr T. Instead I am going to speak of a truth that I really began to understand around the time that I started podcasting. A truth so powerful and amazing that I could sell it for 27 easy credit card payments of $39.99 (or 176,000 counterfeit Canadian Pesos at the current exchange rate). Something that will shatter your world and leave you shocked amazed and wanting more. And that very truth is…

We make our own opportunities!

Let me say that again. We make our own opportunities!

Sure, once in a very long while someone get lucky, and unexpectedly everything just happens to fall in to place, but 99.9% of the time in is our hard work and persistence that pays off. (As a Christian I do believe that God influences this as well, but that is a debate for another day.) So in the end, if we don’t step up and pursue our dreams and goals they won’t be achieved.

Now, I suspect that some of you are unclear as to what I mean by we make our own opportunities. Let me explain via some examples.

I started podcasting in June of 2005 (more or less in the first wave.) I had no idea what I was doing. I had a cheap headset mic and a program called ACID and an idea. I went for it. And with each new podcast produced I tried new things, met new people, created a lot of different shows, did a lot of interviews, and in the end developer a reputation, a brand as it were, for doing a good interview, being interesting to listen to, and giving fair and honest reviews. I also developed an audience, although not a large as I would like, and inspired a lot of other people to get into podcasting as well.

All this work has resulted in publishers and authors sending me books to review. Film makes sending me film screeners. People coming to me wanting to be guests on my show. I chance to use my skills professional doing an internal podcast for a company. Offer of a very late night spot on a local radio station (which I turned down). And a few things more recently that I can’t talk about yet.

All the work and money, I put into my podcasting pay off in opportunities, created by my hard work and persistence. Opportunities that aligned with my goals at the time, to entertain and inspire people.

My hard work and persistence paid off. It created many opportunities for me to do thing and meet people I would never have had had I not started podcasting in the first place. Now those opportunities had a price, the decision to try podcasting and all the work and money that went into it.

Now as I start down a new road in the writing arena, I know that if I work hard at writing and do what needs to be done. At some point down the road it will pay off in opportunities as well.

Figure out what it is you want to do, and give it a try. Work hard and keep at it. Learn what it takes to succeed in your chosen endeavor. (There are tried and true method for getting to write, radio, film, TV, etc. Don’t discount them just because you want to do things your own way. Your unique style will show through even if you are using the same techniques as successful people in your chosen field.) Give enough time and effort, you will create the opportunities you want. (Remember it takes about five years to create a brand personal or otherwise.) But if you stick with it, it will pay off.

Get out there and start create those opportunities.